I'm so lonely, it hurts. Lord, I know that purposeful singleness is your agenda for me at this point in my life. I know I am here; on the other side of the world, right here, right now; because You intended it.
What I don't know, or am yet to learn, is why?
You brought him back for a reason. I know there's purpose behind every course you set, timing you plan, paths you cross, lives you intertwine.
I reflected upon my 'progress' as he probed me with questions.
I slipped unknowingly back into that familiar, dreamy illusion.
It wasn't until afterwards that I remembered I don't even like him in that way any more; do I?
I prayed to you until tears ran; the last night, the last chance, the last opportunity I had to tell him how infatuated I had become in the space of a few days.
Since then though, I've learnt that initiation is not my role. Ideally, and properly, it is his. Whoever he may be.
I wonder where he is right now. The man you have prepared for me, and prepared me for, where is he? What is he doing? Feeling? Thinking? Is he thinking of me?
Lord, surprise me.
I wonder who came up with the saying, "butterflies in the stomach". You know, that warm, tingly sensation? It spreads from your middle, throughout your chest, and sometimes into your mind and limbs. The raw fear of the unknown. The uncontrollable anticipation for what is to come. The prospect of a million possibilities.
I believe experiencing such a beautiful thrill is not boundless. It is a unique feeling which is absolutely frightening, yet so utterly exciting at the same time. For lack of a better phrase, I feel 15 again.
A chance meeting was all it took. We started off coy and polite; but fell into a tender and snug companionship.Then 2 confessions and 3 hours later, boy, did we go wild.
