What I don't know, or am yet to learn, is why?
You brought him back for a reason. I know there's purpose behind every course you set, timing you plan, paths you cross, lives you intertwine.
I reflected upon my 'progress' as he probed me with questions.
I slipped unknowingly back into that familiar, dreamy illusion.
It wasn't until afterwards that I remembered I don't even like him in that way any more; do I?
I prayed to you until tears ran; the last night, the last chance, the last opportunity I had to tell him how infatuated I had become in the space of a few days.
Since then though, I've learnt that initiation is not my role. Ideally, and properly, it is his. Whoever he may be.
I wonder where he is right now. The man you have prepared for me, and prepared me for, where is he? What is he doing? Feeling? Thinking? Is he thinking of me?
Lord, surprise me.
